Thursday, October 1, 2009

Bitchin' 'bout bikers

No, not about the large men on 'hogs'....this is about idiots and their push-bikes. Two idiots in particular.

I was downtown, on my way home, waiting for the lights to change at an intersection on the main drag. It had been raining, so the roads were probably a little slick. Anyhoo, the traffic was moving through the green light, other cars on the cross street were waiting at the red. Now, I understand that if you're at an intersection you can turn right on red - if the way is clear. You should, however, come to a stop first because you know what? Red means STOP.

So, pretty much everyone was obeying the law and just chillin', waiting for our turn to proceed. Except for one girl. On a bike. She came pedaling like mad up the cross street, didn't even slow down, let alone stop at the red, and turned right into the bike lane (which is more toward the middle of the street because of the bus stops along the block). Guess she didn't see the GIANT BUS coming through the intersection that she rode out in FRONT of. The bus driver slammed on the breaks and hit the horn, coming within INCHES of her back wheel. Blithe little half-wit that she clearly is, she just kept on truckin'.

I don't like you, Lady-On-Bike. You probably very nearly gave the bus driver a heart attack and you give decent, law-abiding, safety conscious bike riders a bad name. I wish the bus had hit you. Not enough to cause grievous bodily injury - just enough to scare the be-jesus out of you and induce pants-wetting. Maybe a near death experience and humiliation would make you wake the hell up.

The second idiot was from earlier in my day and he and I have crossed paths before. In the morning when I'm heading to the bus stop, I cross the street at a pedestrian controlled light. I push the button, light goes red, vehicles (four and two wheeled alike) stop. This is how it usually works. The exception to this rule is the total knob who rides his bike to work in the mornings. This guy is apparently above the law (wait, is that you, Steven Seagal?) because he just rides right through that red. Doesn't even LOOK UP!!! Twice he's done this while I've been crossing the road. One time I was about two feet from his bike. Still didn't look up.

Now, I know that this road has an incline at that point, and I know it's a pain in the ass to get yourself moving when you're on a bike on a hill. That still doesn't give you the right to ignore traffic laws! A warning to you, Middle-Aged Twat on Bike - the next time you go through the red when I'm walking across the street I will either a) swing at you with my bag or b) yell so loudly as you pass me that you will take fright, veer to the right, hit the curb and go ass over tea kettle onto the grass. And then I will laugh at you.


Anonymous said...


The Happy Ranter said...

And I just saw ANOTHER cyclist ride through a definitely red light at the Oak Bay Junction. Do these people have a death wish?

ChilkootChubby said...

After waiting for my light to turn so I could walk. I step out just as a cyclist runs the red light, nearly hits me and has the audacity to swear at ME!!

I love(d) biking and have nothing against bikers who follow the guidelines, but the rest of them should have nails put in their tires.