The second rule - don't leave your cart in such a position that it blocks off mine or anyone's access to some common item, like milk, eggs or condoms. I will move your cart out of my way, and I encourage others to do the same. Why should some self-centered schmuck come between me and my shopping?
The third rule is along the lines of the second - don't stop with your cart in the middle of an aisle. Pick a side. This is especially annoying at the ends of aisles. Wake up, jerk - other people want to peruse the vast variety of cereals. You are not special and should not get in between me and my Wheaties. Oh, and if you're blocking the aisle that holds my much needed anti-PMS meds or feminine hygiene products - look out. Once a month I will have no problem ripping off your right arm and beating you with it, if you are in my way.
Fourth rule - don't act like you don't see me at the deli counter when the server asks who's next. I KNOW you see me. And I know you know I know you see me. You are not so busy and important that you need your sliced, no-fat turkey breast before I get mine. I have no problem telling you and everyone around you that I was there first. And then you will be shamed because you are a line jumper.
The fifth rule is one of the most important. Checkout lines only move as fast as the checkout chick/guy can go. So, when you rock up behind me, don't expect things to suddenly go into hyper drive. When the time is right, I will pick up one of those handy-dandy dividers and place it behind my items so that you can start unloading your cart or basket. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to touch my things. Do not, as one lady did, move a few of my canned goods and place them on top of my carton of EGGS. Do not shove all of my items forward, thus squishing my bread between all of my groceries and the cash register. Such behaviour is not acceptable and I will give you the mother of all eyebrow raises. I will also move things back to their original position and if your carton of eggs gets in my way - well, sacrifices will have to be made, won't they?
So ends our first lesson in how to behave like a normal person out in public. Perhaps next time we'll discuss cell phone usage. God, are there even enough bytes in the world to open that topic in a blog?
*This actually applies to escalators as well. What is UP with you people and your incessant NEED to stop moving at the top or bottom of an escalator? I'm going to start kicking you.