Rant to Self

I'm not exactly thrilled with the current state of my figure. It's taking on a roundness that bothers me. And a lot of my clothes aren't fitting me anymore. Of course I take some of the blame for this but mostly I blame carbs and that bitch, Miss Vickie.

A while back I participated in a couple of fitness boot camps and results were seen. Unfortunately, due to lack of funds I wasn't able to continue. I could have just continued on my own, having learned the basics but it's just not as easy if you don't have somebody yelling at you.

This truly stupid thing is that the part I really enjoyed - the running - doesn't really require a trainer, or special equipment beyond the shoes and sports bra I already have, and so I could be doing it for free at any time. I could have been running all this time and not be in the state I'm in now. That part I blame on procrastination.

So, I decided that I need to remedy my situation. I still remember all the tips on pacing that the trainers at the boot camp gave us, and I've downloaded some free podcasts (found here, if you're interested) designed specifically for starting from scratch. There are 9 weeks of running podcasts on my ipod just waiting to be played. I figure if I use those to train my brain, at the end of it I'll be in a good position to roughly measure my distance travelled by time and then I can make myself some motivating playlists to keep me interested.

I doubt that I'll blog about this particular pursuit with any great regularity, but I promise I will give periodic updates as to how I'm going. Or if it all comes to a crashing halt. I have good feelings about this though, because I already know that I enjoy the solitary freedom of running and of being lost in my own thoughts. Plus, I have the short term goal of being in better shape by the end of November for my trip to Australia. The long term goal is to drop weight and improve my fitness levels - two things which can only help in the pursuit of pregnancy as well.

Who knows? Maybe next year will be the year I finally sign up for the TC 10K. Wish me luck!

(Not So) Funny People - SPOILER ALERT

Oh. My. God. There is only one word for this movie and that word is 'excruciating'. I'm not even sure where to begin, so I guess I'll just fling myself off the cliff and have at 'er.

I love Adam Sandler but after two and a half hours of his character, George Simmons, I started to dislike him intensely. Why, Adam, why?? I hope Mr. Sandler was meant to play this character as someone that would be despised despite his possibly life-threatening illness, because on that level he was a great success. Unfortunately, that was a large part of what made this film so bad - sure, he was going through something awful but he had almost no redeeming qualities and that really just made you hope his 'experimental drugs from Canada' wouldn't do the trick.

Leslie Mann's character - Laura - wasn't much better. Maybe it was the awkward way the relationship between Laura and George played out. Maybe it's just that I'm not a huge Leslie Mann fan. The first scene featuring Laura and George together was so uncomfortable, which may have been the intent, but it was the acting that didn't have me convinced.

Aubrey Plaza's character, Daisy, was so weirdly bland. I didn't buy this performance at all either. I think Ms. Plaza would probably be great in something along the lines of 'Ghostworld', but I could have done without her in 'Funny People'. She was so not funny.

The final thing that really irritated me (before I get on to what I actually enjoyed - yes, there were one or two bright spots) was that this movie was so wretchedly LONG. There was absolutely no need for the movie to run for two hours and twenty six minutes. At least an hours worth of what ended up on screen should have been on the cutting room floor.

I was surprised to see Paul Reiser make an appearance, but as my husband pointed out, the scene of George at a table with all of his older comedian buddies did make sense. What didn't make sense was the following scene at the restaurant - a party to celebrate George's bill of good health. What the fuck was Eminem doing in this or any other movie? Marshall, sweetie, you had 8 Mile. That was enough. As for the rest of the cameo's in this particular scene (and the one at George's house), I can only assume that Mr. Apatow was unable to say no to anyone who approached him and said 'Hey, Judd! I'm funny! Put me in your next movie!' Ugh. As a general rule, I'm not a big fan of cameo appearances. When done right, they have their place but sadly this was not a film of things done right.

As I said earlier though, I did like some things and they were:

Seth Rogen's character, Ira Wright, was a nice guy and it was believable that he would stick by George and try to help him. Having said that though, there was a point where I did find him a little too nice and he started to get a little sickly sweet. Poor Seth had to carry the bulk of this movie though, so I'll cut him a little slack.

The scenes between Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill and Jason Schwartzman were some of the best. I would have liked to have seen a lot more of these three together. Jonah Hill is hilarious just standing still and Jason Schwartzman is very rarely out of form.

Eric Bana! I thought he was hilarious (but I will admit that I am a little biased when it comes to all things Australian). I don't think I've heard him bust out his Aussie accent since the sketch comedy show 'Full Frontal'. He doesn't do nearly enough comedy these days.

I will say this - 'Funny People' contains the best explanation ever for how a game of Aussie Rules footy is played. That's the most glowing recommendation I can give for this movie and the scene lasted only mere moments.

In the end, all I can do is suggest that you go with the next movie pick on your list. If you must see this, wait until it comes out on video. Even then, make sure you have a 1/2 off coupon, or steal it. Trust me, even if you get if for free, you'll want a refund.

Ramblin' Rose

This is my Seinfeld post - it's a post about nothing.

For whatever reason, the firing of synapses in my brain led me to look up 'Tom Cruise' and 'Scientology' on YouTube today. Scary shit. Or maybe not scary - maybe just sad. I started to wonder if perhaps the bigwigs over at Scientology, Inc. weren't a little bit miffed that they'd hunted down Tom in their search for celebrities to join the cult religion. The man is a loon. I watched a ten minute rant of Tom's in which he discussed Scientology and that confirmed my thoughts that he's a fully fledged nutbar. Then I watched an interview of Matt Lauer with Tom and that sealed the deal. You could tell by the look on Matt's face that he knew he was going to get nowhere with the crazy person sitting across from him, but bless his little heart, he gave it his all.

Now, don't get me wrong. I think people are entitled to worship the god of their choice and believe in whatever gets them through the night - as long as they're not hurting anyone in the process. Seriously though - Scientology? They're just as nutty as the next religion, although I don't recall ever hearing about Jesus asking anyone to hold metal rods while being 'audited'.

In other news, I think my husband and at least one of my friends thinks it's odd that I haven't left the apartment in over a week. Is that weird? Maybe. It's a trend I would like to continue though. I'm seeing the appeal in being a hermit. If only I could think of a way to immediately start replacing my current salary with money made while sitting on my ass on my couch. If I never had to step foot in an office again, I'd be okay with that. Let me know if you have any brilliant ideas that I can steal and then profit from.

See this picture off to the left? I took that. At a world renowned garden while my parents were visiting. It makes me happy in ways I can't explain. I'm generally not a huge fan of roses but I like this one. I like the lighting and I love the colour of it. These are the things that are getting me through my days at the moment.

I hope it brings a little extra happiness to your day too.

*Meh*

This is exactly what I've been feeling like:

He looks a little more active than I've been though. It's been a strange few days (at least in my head) and I've been in hiding for one reason or another. I'm slowly getting over myself and will be back to my old self in a few days, I'm sure. In the meantime, check out what I've been doing during my self-imposed banishment at: Pro-Craft-Inate.

Try this....you'll like it

Walk home while listening to the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.  It'll make you feel like one cool cat and you'll find yourself busting into a saunter and possibly some impromptu dance moves.  Sure, your fellow pedestrians will cross the street to avoid you but in your own head, you'll be awesome.

Not a rant, just a crazy idea....

I'm going to try watching less t.v. and using the internet less for 2 weeks.  You know, before I turn into a fluffy, white, beer drinking cat.  No, I'm not turning hippy or becoming one of those pretentious twats who snottily declares 'We don't watch television in our house'  (what, are you Amish?).  

Lately, I've noticed that my creative output and even my desire for creative output has dwindled almost into non existence.  That's just sad, because as my good friend A will attest - I am an 'accomplished artist'.  (Inside joke - maybe I'll tell you over a beer sometime).

Anyway, I'm thinking I'll start small and try for 2 weeks.  That surely won't kill me - or cause me to kill my husband.  My game plan is to limit my t.v. to no more than an hour a day - which probably still sounds like excessive watching to some but seriously - the usual 3 hour Sunday cartoon night will be painful to give up (yes, I'm an adult and I watch cartoons - shut up.)

In addition, I'm going to limit my internet use to no more than an hour a day (barring what I need to use it for at work - I'm just talking about home use).  I've been sucked into following ridiculousness on Twitter (no, I will not give you a link - resist!) recently and that definitely has to stop.  What a time suck invention that is!  Instead I'll be sticking to the handful of blogs I read regularly and things like flickr.com (it's like having a never ending inspiration wall!).

Since I've basically stolen the spare/guest room from the Boy, I figure I should probably put it to good use and have something to show for it (Look, honey!  Art!  You know, for our walls....)  I'd also like to feel like I'm being productive because honestly, lately I feel like all I've been doing is waiting.  Waiting for what is another story....oooh, maybe I should use some of my precious internet time for updating my blog!  What a concept.  

So I'm putting this out there so that I'll feel some sense of responsibility to actually go through with it.  And, I'll also try to post proof of what I've been doing with all this extra 'unplugged' time.  Stay tuned, avid reader!  Surprises could be just around the corner.....

Parents, take note...

I came across an online video the other day that really pissed me off. Unfortunately, it was posted by a friend of mine. In the video her youngest daughter is bopping her head away to some tunes on her headphones and singing along. Cute, right? Yeah, I thought so too until I realized she was singing along to Britney Spears' 'Womanizer'. WTF? She's five!!!

I realize that she doesn't understand the lyrics but that doesn't make it less infuriating that a mother would willing give her small child a cd that is clearly far above her maturity level. What's wrong with letting your kids listen to the likes of Raffi and the Wiggles? Parents are supposed to guide their children and help them grow and learn at a pace that is suitable to their age. The point is to let them build up skills and knowledge so that when they are at an age to (hopefully not) listen to the likes of Ms. Spears or others like her, they'll have an understanding of what it is they're listening to (and hopefully be offended and disturbed enough to stop listening).

Kids need the chance to be kids. There's plenty of time to be an adult and all the complicated mess that comes with it. For all of those parents out there that this applies to, please just let your kids be innocent and naive and sweet. It's over way too fast as it is.