It seems things got a little heated in the comments on my last post. I suppose, given the sensitivity of the subject, and of related subjects, it’s not surprising. To be clear, I would like to say that the opinions expressed in the comments section are not necessarily those held by the blog owner (that’d be me). However, I would also like to say that having read the comments, I have tried to look from each persons perspective and I think I understand where each of the parties were coming from. I’m of the opinion that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. We all come from different backgrounds and different experiences - this is what our feelings and views on any subject is based on. I think it is important to be able to respect this even when someone’s opinion or view may be contrary to our own and may also be personally hurtful.
That being said, I also believe in a person’s right to stand up for themselves, to express their anger if they’ve been hurt, and to respond to the individual or group who they feel have overstepped the bounds. As this is my blog, a forum in which I express my opinions on a range of subjects, I fully expect that not everyone will be pleased or agree with the things that I say. If people want to respond to something I post, I welcome the comment and am glad to open up discussions.
I do feel some responsibility for the comments section because what I write is the catalyst that prompts the first comment and it flows from there. I’m pretty open with my comments policy because I do believe in free speech (with some exceptions - I will not tolerate threats, racial slurs, discrimination based on sexual preference, etc - I don’t believe any of these are necessary to get one’s point across). While I find it unfortunate that anyone was upset by any comments (or if anyone was upset by anything I wrote), I will ask that commenters refrain from name calling or personal attacks on other commenters. I understand completely that sometimes anger can make it nearly impossible to self edit, however, any such comments made in future will be deleted. I certainly don’t want it to appear that I don’t respect the validity of any commenters feelings or that what they say may well be the true view of the person making the comment, but this is my blog. If anyone is going to call some one an idiot (fucking or otherwise), it will be me.
Note: I did have an entirely different post in mind for the follow up to the last one but I felt I should respond to what had happened. I’ll be posting that in the next day or so, if anyone cares to check back.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Say What? Part Two.
Apparently my last post was quite popular! Thanks to everyone who stopped by! I had a few comments from some lovely people that had some suggestions for additions to the list of what not to say - perhaps there will have to be a revised version posted at some point in the coming months. Stay tuned!
I also had a comment from Spongeknuckle who brought up the question of what a person CAN say to people faced with infertility. In the name of fair play, I'm going to try to answer that now. To be honest, I had started this post in a totally different way and was going to be just as (hopefully) funny as I was in the previous post. I've changed my mind (I'm allowed! I'm a Gemini!) and I've decided to just write this one straight. Okay, maybe I'll throw in something a little funny here and there but I'm doing that for my fans. Naturally, I don't want anyone to think that because my previous post was written with a humorous bent, that I wasn't completely serious. I was and am. The truth is, if I didn't laugh about some of the comments that have been made to me regarding fertility, I would cry. And I have.
So, below is a breakdown of why the things I posted about previously should not be said to people with infertility issues:
1. ‘Just relax’ or suggestions of holidays or getting tipsy are fine suggestions to make to a friend if you’re hanging out or trying to think of something fun to do. To someone who struggles with infertility, these comments are dismissive and don’t show an appreciation for how difficult the person’s or couple’s situation is. People who have a known (or unknown) medical reason why it is difficult or near impossible for them to get pregnant on their own or with medical assistance would very much like to just relax and have it happen. Think of it this way, you would probably never think of telling someone with heart disease or cancer to ‘just relax’ and they’ll be cured. You would never suggest that a trip to the tropics and a couple of Mai Tais would have them right as rain.
2. Suggesting to someone with infertility that they should have more, or less, sex, or try a different position, or god forbid, that they’re doing it wrong (even if that is meant in jest) is insensitive and laughable. When people have reached the point that they become aware of their fertility issues, it’s probably a safe bet that they’ve tried every position they can think of, and might even have a few to share with people who don’t have an issue with getting pregnant. Chances are, people who are actively trying to have a baby and have been trying for a while, they’re probably having more sex than anyone (well, except maybe porn stars...).
3. Flippantly, or with the best of intentions, telling someone that they should try IVF or Surrogacy, or donor embryos or that they could ‘just adopt’ shows such a lack of thought. To even just figure out that a woman has infertility issues can take some very invasive testing. To actually reach the point of making a choice of what to do next - IUI (in-uterine insemination), IVF (in vitro fertilization) to name a couple of common ones, is terribly difficult. All of these procedures involve quite hefty costs which are often not covered by health insurance. Having to lay out thousands of dollars for procedures that give no guarantees is way beyond the reach of some people. If a couple is lucky enough to have the funds available, they still have a tough road ahead. As for adoption (which I think is one of the most amazing things people can do), despite how easy Madonna and other celebrities make it look, it is also a long and emotional process. You can’t just walk into an adoption agency and walk out with a baby. It takes years.
4. To tell someone who is having trouble getting pregnant that they should just put the thoughts aside for awhile and not think about it or stress about it, is like the old trick of telling someone not to think of a pink elephant. People who are trying really hard to get pregnant can’t help but think about it. It’s a constant that is with them all the time. For a woman who’s charting, it is the first thought on her mind when she wakes up because that’s when she has to take her temperature. Her life is broken up into two week increments (or there about, depending on the cycle) of waiting to ovulate and then, waiting to see if she and her partner were successful. And let’s not forget all the constant external reminders - such as the ad for pregnancy tests on my t.v. as I write this!
5. For people who are lucky enough to be pregnant, or who already have children, it’s not that people having problems with fertility hate all parents with a passion. It’s just that to hear people who have or are having children complain about any aspect of it is incredibly painful because infertile people would love to be in that position. Of course, pregnancy can be uncomfortable and children can sometimes make a person crazy. The key is to choose your audience. Complain to your friends who already have kids, or who are pregnant. If you won the lottery, you probably wouldn’t complain about how hard it is to decide what to buy to a friend who couldn’t pay their rent.
6. In my opinion, the most insensitive thing that can be said to someone struggling with infertility is that it’s ‘not meant to be’ or that it’s all ‘God’s plan’. There is no excuse for ever saying these things. There is no justification for why babies are being born to people who abuse drugs, or to people who will abuse their children, and not to people who desperately want children. As for God, not everyone believes in the same one, or in a god at all. While some people take great comfort in their faith, it doesn’t hold the same weight for everyone. Since I’m an atheist, the God comment doesn’t really bother me but I can imagine for someone who does believe and who does suffer with infertility, that must be incredibly painful to hear. If you’re going to make either of these comments to someone, you may as well just say ‘I think you’d be crap as a parent; you really don’t deserve it’. Go ahead and kick them since they’re already down.
I hope that makes things a little more clear as to why such comments can be so painful. If people (and I need to keep this in mind as well) would simply stop and think before saying the first thing that comes into their heads, that would go a long way. As the lovely Red, and another anonymous commenter mentioned, if you don’t know what to say, it’s probably best to not say anything at all.
With these posts I’ve pretty much thrown myself (and The Boy - sorry!) out of the infertility closet and into the open. I can say with absolute certainty that there are millions of couples like myself and my husband in the world. I’ve met a number of them. The odds are good that one or more of the couples you may know, who don’t have children, or even those that already do, are having issues with infertility. Some may be open to discussing it, others won’t. There’s no sure fire way to tell - we’re not marked for easy identification.
Some people have no intention of having children, others want nothing more. Whatever the case, the issue is an intensely private one and is nobody’s business but the people involved. If they’re willing to talk about it, and you’re privy to that, the best thing that could be said is ‘I’m here if you want to talk, and if you don’t, I understand.’
I also had a comment from Spongeknuckle who brought up the question of what a person CAN say to people faced with infertility. In the name of fair play, I'm going to try to answer that now. To be honest, I had started this post in a totally different way and was going to be just as (hopefully) funny as I was in the previous post. I've changed my mind (I'm allowed! I'm a Gemini!) and I've decided to just write this one straight. Okay, maybe I'll throw in something a little funny here and there but I'm doing that for my fans. Naturally, I don't want anyone to think that because my previous post was written with a humorous bent, that I wasn't completely serious. I was and am. The truth is, if I didn't laugh about some of the comments that have been made to me regarding fertility, I would cry. And I have.
So, below is a breakdown of why the things I posted about previously should not be said to people with infertility issues:
1. ‘Just relax’ or suggestions of holidays or getting tipsy are fine suggestions to make to a friend if you’re hanging out or trying to think of something fun to do. To someone who struggles with infertility, these comments are dismissive and don’t show an appreciation for how difficult the person’s or couple’s situation is. People who have a known (or unknown) medical reason why it is difficult or near impossible for them to get pregnant on their own or with medical assistance would very much like to just relax and have it happen. Think of it this way, you would probably never think of telling someone with heart disease or cancer to ‘just relax’ and they’ll be cured. You would never suggest that a trip to the tropics and a couple of Mai Tais would have them right as rain.
2. Suggesting to someone with infertility that they should have more, or less, sex, or try a different position, or god forbid, that they’re doing it wrong (even if that is meant in jest) is insensitive and laughable. When people have reached the point that they become aware of their fertility issues, it’s probably a safe bet that they’ve tried every position they can think of, and might even have a few to share with people who don’t have an issue with getting pregnant. Chances are, people who are actively trying to have a baby and have been trying for a while, they’re probably having more sex than anyone (well, except maybe porn stars...).
3. Flippantly, or with the best of intentions, telling someone that they should try IVF or Surrogacy, or donor embryos or that they could ‘just adopt’ shows such a lack of thought. To even just figure out that a woman has infertility issues can take some very invasive testing. To actually reach the point of making a choice of what to do next - IUI (in-uterine insemination), IVF (in vitro fertilization) to name a couple of common ones, is terribly difficult. All of these procedures involve quite hefty costs which are often not covered by health insurance. Having to lay out thousands of dollars for procedures that give no guarantees is way beyond the reach of some people. If a couple is lucky enough to have the funds available, they still have a tough road ahead. As for adoption (which I think is one of the most amazing things people can do), despite how easy Madonna and other celebrities make it look, it is also a long and emotional process. You can’t just walk into an adoption agency and walk out with a baby. It takes years.
4. To tell someone who is having trouble getting pregnant that they should just put the thoughts aside for awhile and not think about it or stress about it, is like the old trick of telling someone not to think of a pink elephant. People who are trying really hard to get pregnant can’t help but think about it. It’s a constant that is with them all the time. For a woman who’s charting, it is the first thought on her mind when she wakes up because that’s when she has to take her temperature. Her life is broken up into two week increments (or there about, depending on the cycle) of waiting to ovulate and then, waiting to see if she and her partner were successful. And let’s not forget all the constant external reminders - such as the ad for pregnancy tests on my t.v. as I write this!
5. For people who are lucky enough to be pregnant, or who already have children, it’s not that people having problems with fertility hate all parents with a passion. It’s just that to hear people who have or are having children complain about any aspect of it is incredibly painful because infertile people would love to be in that position. Of course, pregnancy can be uncomfortable and children can sometimes make a person crazy. The key is to choose your audience. Complain to your friends who already have kids, or who are pregnant. If you won the lottery, you probably wouldn’t complain about how hard it is to decide what to buy to a friend who couldn’t pay their rent.
6. In my opinion, the most insensitive thing that can be said to someone struggling with infertility is that it’s ‘not meant to be’ or that it’s all ‘God’s plan’. There is no excuse for ever saying these things. There is no justification for why babies are being born to people who abuse drugs, or to people who will abuse their children, and not to people who desperately want children. As for God, not everyone believes in the same one, or in a god at all. While some people take great comfort in their faith, it doesn’t hold the same weight for everyone. Since I’m an atheist, the God comment doesn’t really bother me but I can imagine for someone who does believe and who does suffer with infertility, that must be incredibly painful to hear. If you’re going to make either of these comments to someone, you may as well just say ‘I think you’d be crap as a parent; you really don’t deserve it’. Go ahead and kick them since they’re already down.
I hope that makes things a little more clear as to why such comments can be so painful. If people (and I need to keep this in mind as well) would simply stop and think before saying the first thing that comes into their heads, that would go a long way. As the lovely Red, and another anonymous commenter mentioned, if you don’t know what to say, it’s probably best to not say anything at all.
With these posts I’ve pretty much thrown myself (and The Boy - sorry!) out of the infertility closet and into the open. I can say with absolute certainty that there are millions of couples like myself and my husband in the world. I’ve met a number of them. The odds are good that one or more of the couples you may know, who don’t have children, or even those that already do, are having issues with infertility. Some may be open to discussing it, others won’t. There’s no sure fire way to tell - we’re not marked for easy identification.
Some people have no intention of having children, others want nothing more. Whatever the case, the issue is an intensely private one and is nobody’s business but the people involved. If they’re willing to talk about it, and you’re privy to that, the best thing that could be said is ‘I’m here if you want to talk, and if you don’t, I understand.’
Monday, January 4, 2010
Say What? What Not to Say to the Fertility Challenged.
As I was telling a friend tonight, one of my resolutions for 2010 is to drop my filter and start telling people what I really think. Now, to explain myself, I should say that if I think what you’re telling me is wrong, or if I think that you’re just being obtuse, I will tell you that perhaps you are wrong or that perhaps I think you should stop being a tool. I will do this politely (the first time, at least) but I will be firm and stand up for myself. My intent isn’t to be a bitch and jump down the throat of everyone I meet. I just don’t want to be anything resembling a door mat anymore.
In that light, I need to rant. As you may know from my profile blurb, or from knowing me personally, I (with my husband) am trying to have a baby. Since there is no baby in evidence in our apartment, obviously, things on that front aren’t going as planned. I’m not going to go into all the gory details as to why this is but we are seeking medical help and it is all proving to be difficult, especially emotionally, for me.
So, that combined with my new resolve, brings us to my rant (the first of the year! Yay!). Today I rant about infertility and the stupid things that people have said to me, or others suffering the same, seemingly regardless of whether they know my situation or not. I post this rant for myself and also on behalf of all those suffering from infertility or secondary infertility. Dealing with this is hard enough without also having to deal with the stupidity, insensitivity and/or mindlessness of others.
To make this simple, I’m providing a list (oh, the list is so much longer!) of some of the things you shouldn’t say to someone who may be suffering from infertility. You don’t have to know for a fact that the person you’re talking to is having difficulty. If you suspect they are, or if you just flat out don’t know, please, err on the side of sensitivity and utter NONE of the following:
1. Just relax and you’ll get pregnant (Oh, is that how it works? Because you know, I was just so uptight during my partying 20’s)
2. Go get drunk one night! That’s what happened for me when I got pregnant! (Oh, is that how it works? Because you know, I was just so sober during my partying 20’s)
3. Go on holiday! We got pregnant on vacation! (Oh, is that how it works? Because you know, blah blah blah)
4. I read that male infertility is on the rise. (Um, thanks Dad. That was really helpful)
5. Have more sex. (Crap! We have to have sex?)
6. Have less sex. (Um, you know basic biology, right?)
7. Elevate your butt after sex. (Could you give me a degree of elevation? Because I’ve actually tried this and nada. Should I just hang myself upside down from the ceiling?)
8. You could always adopt. (Wow. Thanks. Sadly, I’m not Brangelina so I can’t just walk into a Third World country and buy a baby)
9. Your mother never had a problem getting pregnant. (Thanks again, Dad! Your advise has been invaluable!)
10. You’re thinking about it too much. Stop thinking about it and you’ll get pregnant. (Uh huh. So, if I have a lobotomy, remove my heart, and cease production of all hormones, I’ll get preggers.)
11. At least you can travel/go to movies/sleep in whenever you want (What’s that? You’re sorry you had children because now you can’t take that weekend trip to Vegas? Give your kids to me, you undeserving twat)
12. God has a plan and you have to accept it. (As an atheist, that holds zero weight with me. As far as I’m concerned, God might be the crazy cat lady that lives two doors over. Pretty sure she doesn’t have a ‘plan’ for me)
13. Maybe it’s not meant to be. (But crack whores and Britney are ‘meant’ to be parents? No, I do not accept that)
14. Why don’t you just try IVF/Surrogacy? (Gee, I hadn’t considered that those might be my options. Mind if I exhaust every other avenue first?)
15. Oh, geez! Morning sickness/extra weight/overheating is SO hard. Be glad you don’t have to deal with the pains of pregnancy! (Um, I would gladly rip off my own right arm to be in your position. Do you hear me? MY OWN RIGHT ARM!)
16. Maybe you’re not doing it (sex) right. Hahaha. (Oh, man! You are funny! Come a little closer...so I can punch you in the face.)
If you think that maybe this is too much for you to remember, or if you think that maybe you're not capable of making a judgement call for yourself about what should or should not be said to possibly infertile friends, please, by all means, copy and paste the above list. Put it into the word program of your choice and print it out. Share it with other socially inept friends! Laminate a small version for your wallet! I, and other fertility challenged couples will thank you.
In that light, I need to rant. As you may know from my profile blurb, or from knowing me personally, I (with my husband) am trying to have a baby. Since there is no baby in evidence in our apartment, obviously, things on that front aren’t going as planned. I’m not going to go into all the gory details as to why this is but we are seeking medical help and it is all proving to be difficult, especially emotionally, for me.
So, that combined with my new resolve, brings us to my rant (the first of the year! Yay!). Today I rant about infertility and the stupid things that people have said to me, or others suffering the same, seemingly regardless of whether they know my situation or not. I post this rant for myself and also on behalf of all those suffering from infertility or secondary infertility. Dealing with this is hard enough without also having to deal with the stupidity, insensitivity and/or mindlessness of others.
To make this simple, I’m providing a list (oh, the list is so much longer!) of some of the things you shouldn’t say to someone who may be suffering from infertility. You don’t have to know for a fact that the person you’re talking to is having difficulty. If you suspect they are, or if you just flat out don’t know, please, err on the side of sensitivity and utter NONE of the following:
1. Just relax and you’ll get pregnant (Oh, is that how it works? Because you know, I was just so uptight during my partying 20’s)
2. Go get drunk one night! That’s what happened for me when I got pregnant! (Oh, is that how it works? Because you know, I was just so sober during my partying 20’s)
3. Go on holiday! We got pregnant on vacation! (Oh, is that how it works? Because you know, blah blah blah)
4. I read that male infertility is on the rise. (Um, thanks Dad. That was really helpful)
5. Have more sex. (Crap! We have to have sex?)
6. Have less sex. (Um, you know basic biology, right?)
7. Elevate your butt after sex. (Could you give me a degree of elevation? Because I’ve actually tried this and nada. Should I just hang myself upside down from the ceiling?)
8. You could always adopt. (Wow. Thanks. Sadly, I’m not Brangelina so I can’t just walk into a Third World country and buy a baby)
9. Your mother never had a problem getting pregnant. (Thanks again, Dad! Your advise has been invaluable!)
10. You’re thinking about it too much. Stop thinking about it and you’ll get pregnant. (Uh huh. So, if I have a lobotomy, remove my heart, and cease production of all hormones, I’ll get preggers.)
11. At least you can travel/go to movies/sleep in whenever you want (What’s that? You’re sorry you had children because now you can’t take that weekend trip to Vegas? Give your kids to me, you undeserving twat)
12. God has a plan and you have to accept it. (As an atheist, that holds zero weight with me. As far as I’m concerned, God might be the crazy cat lady that lives two doors over. Pretty sure she doesn’t have a ‘plan’ for me)
13. Maybe it’s not meant to be. (But crack whores and Britney are ‘meant’ to be parents? No, I do not accept that)
14. Why don’t you just try IVF/Surrogacy? (Gee, I hadn’t considered that those might be my options. Mind if I exhaust every other avenue first?)
15. Oh, geez! Morning sickness/extra weight/overheating is SO hard. Be glad you don’t have to deal with the pains of pregnancy! (Um, I would gladly rip off my own right arm to be in your position. Do you hear me? MY OWN RIGHT ARM!)
16. Maybe you’re not doing it (sex) right. Hahaha. (Oh, man! You are funny! Come a little closer...so I can punch you in the face.)
If you think that maybe this is too much for you to remember, or if you think that maybe you're not capable of making a judgement call for yourself about what should or should not be said to possibly infertile friends, please, by all means, copy and paste the above list. Put it into the word program of your choice and print it out. Share it with other socially inept friends! Laminate a small version for your wallet! I, and other fertility challenged couples will thank you.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Fear not, I have returned.
Hello, dear readers! Miss me? I’m sure you all did (all three of you) as much as I missed you. I had good reason though - I was vacationing in the Southern Hemisphere and welcoming my new niece, Amelia, into the world (cutest baby EVER).
I’m still in the midst of traveling back to Canada, so I won’t go into all the details of my three weeks away just now. Still a tad emotional about the goodbyes and really, enough people in airports have seen me sobbing today. In brief though, it was very good and far too short a visit.
There isn’t really much for me to rant about in this post - except maybe to say that the world is too big and planes aren’t fast enough (or cheap enough) for me to be a jet setter who jumps from one hemisphere to the other with the regularity I would want.
All I wanted to say, as much to remind myself as to inform you, is that I got to hold my dear, sweet Amelia one more time before I stepped through security at the Melbourne airport. She was missing her usual feeding time but there were no complaining cries from her. Instead she smiled up at me and completely and utterly broke my heart. I never want to forget the look on her face or the smell of her sweet little baby head. I know I’ll see her again (hopefully sooner, rather than later) but she’s already changed so much in the three weeks she’s been in the world. It hurts to know that I’ll be missing out on watching her getting bigger and more aware and interactive.
Well, so much for no more crying in airports. I may as well just flip through all the photo’s I took and really set myself off.
* Written prior to posting at SFO, gate 79. (If any of you were recently frightened by an hysterical woman at the San Francisco airport, my apologies.)
P.S. I called the Boy once I was at the airport and my cell phone would finally work again. He gave me some rather surprising news. So surprising in fact, my reaction probably seemed a little flat in response (but I’d just been squished up in the window seat on 13 hour flight - it was taking me awhile to unwind myself). That’s all I’m going to say for now - gotta leave you wanting more ;)
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Grocery Store Etiquette 101
The first 'rule' is actually standard to anywhere you may go - do not stop in doorways*. When you enter a store or other public establishment, providing there is no one barring your way, KEEP MOVING. Don't choose that spot to stop and check your list, or rifle through your bag, or scratch your ass. If you need to do any of those things, move to the side where you will not impede me or other people who actually have a well laid out plan and are ready to go.The second rule - don't leave your cart in such a position that it blocks off mine or anyone's access to some common item, like milk, eggs or condoms. I will move your cart out of my way, and I encourage others to do the same. Why should some self-centered schmuck come between me and my shopping?
The third rule is along the lines of the second - don't stop with your cart in the middle of an aisle. Pick a side. This is especially annoying at the ends of aisles. Wake up, jerk - other people want to peruse the vast variety of cereals. You are not special and should not get in between me and my Wheaties. Oh, and if you're blocking the aisle that holds my much needed anti-PMS meds or feminine hygiene products - look out. Once a month I will have no problem ripping off your right arm and beating you with it, if you are in my way.
Fourth rule - don't act like you don't see me at the deli counter when the server asks who's next. I KNOW you see me. And I know you know I know you see me. You are not so busy and important that you need your sliced, no-fat turkey breast before I get mine. I have no problem telling you and everyone around you that I was there first. And then you will be shamed because you are a line jumper.
The fifth rule is one of the most important. Checkout lines only move as fast as the checkout chick/guy can go. So, when you rock up behind me, don't expect things to suddenly go into hyper drive. When the time is right, I will pick up one of those handy-dandy dividers and place it behind my items so that you can start unloading your cart or basket. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to touch my things. Do not, as one lady did, move a few of my canned goods and place them on top of my carton of EGGS. Do not shove all of my items forward, thus squishing my bread between all of my groceries and the cash register. Such behaviour is not acceptable and I will give you the mother of all eyebrow raises. I will also move things back to their original position and if your carton of eggs gets in my way - well, sacrifices will have to be made, won't they?
So ends our first lesson in how to behave like a normal person out in public. Perhaps next time we'll discuss cell phone usage. God, are there even enough bytes in the world to open that topic in a blog?
*This actually applies to escalators as well. What is UP with you people and your incessant NEED to stop moving at the top or bottom of an escalator? I'm going to start kicking you.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Bitchin' 'bout bikers
No, not about the large men on 'hogs'....this is about idiots and their push-bikes. Two idiots in particular.I was downtown, on my way home, waiting for the lights to change at an intersection on the main drag. It had been raining, so the roads were probably a little slick. Anyhoo, the traffic was moving through the green light, other cars on the cross street were waiting at the red. Now, I understand that if you're at an intersection you can turn right on red - if the way is clear. You should, however, come to a stop first because you know what? Red means STOP.
So, pretty much everyone was obeying the law and just chillin', waiting for our turn to proceed. Except for one girl. On a bike. She came pedaling like mad up the cross street, didn't even slow down, let alone stop at the red, and turned right into the bike lane (which is more toward the middle of the street because of the bus stops along the block). Guess she didn't see the GIANT BUS coming through the intersection that she rode out in FRONT of. The bus driver slammed on the breaks and hit the horn, coming within INCHES of her back wheel. Blithe little half-wit that she clearly is, she just kept on truckin'.
I don't like you, Lady-On-Bike. You probably very nearly gave the bus driver a heart attack and you give decent, law-abiding, safety conscious bike riders a bad name. I wish the bus had hit you. Not enough to cause grievous bodily injury - just enough to scare the be-jesus out of you and induce pants-wetting. Maybe a near death experience and humiliation would make you wake the hell up.
The second idiot was from earlier in my day and he and I have crossed paths before. In the morning when I'm heading to the bus stop, I cross the street at a pedestrian controlled light. I push the button, light goes red, vehicles (four and two wheeled alike) stop. This is how it usually works. The exception to this rule is the total knob who rides his bike to work in the mornings. This guy is apparently above the law (wait, is that you, Steven Seagal?) because he just rides right through that red. Doesn't even LOOK UP!!! Twice he's done this while I've been crossing the road. One time I was about two feet from his bike. Still didn't look up.
Now, I know that this road has an incline at that point, and I know it's a pain in the ass to get yourself moving when you're on a bike on a hill. That still doesn't give you the right to ignore traffic laws! A warning to you, Middle-Aged Twat on Bike - the next time you go through the red when I'm walking across the street I will either a) swing at you with my bag or b) yell so loudly as you pass me that you will take fright, veer to the right, hit the curb and go ass over tea kettle onto the grass. And then I will laugh at you.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The post in which I rant.....
Rant the First
A week or so ago a friend and I were leaving the Bay, and heading towards an escalator that would lead us down to street level. When we approached the escalator, there were two small boys, one of about 2 and the other around 4. They were attempting to get on to the escalator - by themselves. The four year old was able to negotiate the moving stairs but the two year old struggled a bit but then managed to just sit down to ride the escalator. My friend and I were horrified. We wondered aloud where the parents were, until we got to the top of the escalator and all was revealed. Oh, there they were. AT THE BOTTOM OF THE ESCALATOR, LOOKING UP AT THEIR CHILDREN.
We stood behind the boys as we travelled downwards, and upon reaching the bottom one would have thought that Mum or Dad would have come forward to rescue the youngest. But no. He reached the bottom of the escalator, still sitting and then struggled to stand up, leading my friend to exclaim loudly 'Watch your fingers!' Fortunately, the four year old clearly had a brain and assisted his brother. Obviously, their parents were far too busy with the other two children they had, plus the large stroller and the complexity of the choice between using regular double doors or a revolving door.
POINT: If you are a slack-jawed, mouth breathing, troglodyte - DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN. You don't deserve kids and kids certainly have done nothing to deserve parents like you.
Rant the Second
Today I was at a pedestrian controlled crosswalk at a T intersection near my street. I pushed the button and waited for the light to change. Flashing green to solid green. Cars go through. Fine. Solid Green to Yellow. Another couple of cars go through. Idiots but, okay. Yellow to RED. I start walking and an SUV goes through in front of me. If I weren't loaded down with a bag of cat food and a giant bag of litter, I would have given the driver a clear view of both of my middle fingers and quite possibly leapt on to the back bumper, climbed over the car and punched him in the head.
POINT: The next person to run a red at that intersection when I'm crossing will most likely hit me because I WILL JUMP IN FRONT OF YOUR VEHICLE AND THEN SUE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOUR SORRY SUV DRIVING, YUPPIE ASS IS WORTH. Pay attention to lights, asshole. And that goes for cyclists too. Just because you're on two wheels does NOT make you exempt from traffic laws. And don't come crying when the SUV driving yuppie hits you either, because no one will care.
Rant the Third
Gordon Campbell, the Provincial government of BC and upper management of BC Ambulance Service has been screwing the paramedics of BC up the ass for months now. Why? Because these hard working men and women want decent working conditions (read: rat-free stations; an actual station rather than an HOTEL ROOM etc), sufficient staff for all cars so that they are able to respond in a timely manner without been overly tired and stressed, and a wage that is in keeping with the work they do. How many of us would be willing to respond to calls for help from the lower East side of Vancouver, regardless of the wage we were being paid? Not many. The only interest the City of Vancouver or the BC government has in the lower East side at the present time is making sure that it's hidden in time for the 2010 Olympics. And yet, paramedics in downtown Vancouver are there on a daily and nightly basis, risking their health to help the downtrodden. Cops and Firefighters are down there too, but they're getting paid a much better rate. I guess that's because they're both an Emergency Service, which according to Gordon Campbell and his cronies, BC Ambulance Paramedics are NOT. Does this sound right to you, dear reader?
POINT: As the wife of a paramedic, I see first hand how hard my husband and his fellow paramedics work. I see the stress they deal with, trying to help people on what could be the worst day of that patients life. Despite what the government is trying to tell the people of BC, paramedics are not on strike just for the money. They're fighting for equality. They're fighting for the jobs they love and for the people of this province. BC paramedics have been accused of not caring about the citizens of BC. That is such bullshit. They ARE citizens of BC and if they didn't care, paramedic is probably not the career choice they would make. While everyone is freaking out about H1N1, who do you think is showing up at the doors of people who might have it? Not Gordon Campbell, that's for sure. The only person Gordon Campbell cares about is Gordon Campbell (and maybe his bartender - cheers, Premier!).
I'm siding with the paramedics, and not just because I'm married to one. God forbid myself, my family or any of my friends should ever need to call for an ambulance but if they do, I'm so grateful that that essential EMERGENCY service is there. We should all be fighting for the rights of a service that this province NEEDS. As for Mr. Campbell (and any idiot who voted for him), here's hoping none of you need an ambulance either - god knows, none of you deserve the help.
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